Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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