When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
