We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm experimenting with sincerity
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
