Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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