just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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