ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
