physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
There r osticjed everywhere
Semen is not good for contacts.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
