I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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