I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
