so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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