matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
