Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize