and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woke up backwards on a recliner
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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