I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
