Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
