If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
