so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
