I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
