Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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