just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
