whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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