I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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