Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
