I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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