You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
