She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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