I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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