they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize