I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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