TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
