you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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