So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
