When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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