I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
well you can't waste a boner
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
