Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
