doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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