I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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