Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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