WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The power of my boobs compel you
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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