you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
