He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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