Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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