I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Found your dick twin last night
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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