i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize