wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
