Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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