So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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