Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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