Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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