so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
