I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
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