we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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