We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize