So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Pants are for mortals
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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