Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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