Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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