I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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