so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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