I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
