So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
