hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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