Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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